Flirt Tips

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- Trevor G male 47

Tips for women | Tips for men | General flirting tips

Give clear signals

Men are notoriously bad at interpreting signals from women. Know what you want when you flirt and make sure your signals are clear and that they convey what you mean. It’s not fair to flirt with someone for the fun of it – unless they are obviously flirty themselves. Flirting for fun is fine when you know someone a little better. If you genuinely want to meet people then by all means flirt, just make sure you know how to separate the sexual flirting signals from the 'hi, I'm friendly' flirting signals.

Great States are catching

People love being around charismatic people because they spread good feelings. Get yourself into the right state for flirting and go for it. Feel good about yourself and others will feel good about you.

Carry something to get you noticed [Susan Rabin calls this a flirting prop]

If you want someone to approach you, be sure to wear or carry something that is eye-catching and noticeable to you. You will be surprised how much easier it is to go up to someone and ask a question about their prop.

Separate yourself from your friends

If you go out with a group of friends or even one girlfriend, make sure you separate from them so that you are more approachable. No man wants to be rejected in front of a group of women, and he may well feel he cannot approach you when you are ‘protected’ by a herd of other women!

Check your voice

Does your voice sound like a dental drill or do you wash people in waves of sensual sound?

If you are not interested, be polite when rejecting a man

‘Get lost nerd’ is NOT the way to say NO. Men who approach women may do so clumsily sometimes. If you are not interested, make it clear and be polite. It can be very difficult to get up the courage to approach a woman. Refuse someone in the way you would appreciate being turned down yourself. If you are sure someone is NOT for you you can say ‘I am sure you will find someone who is right for you, but I am sorry I don’t think it’s me. Remember that even if this person is not for you, they may have friend potential and who knows that benefits that can bring!! And now a short pause for a commercial break!

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Be interesting by being interested

Cut down the talk about yourself and ask him open ended questions. Find out about him – after all people generally enjoy talking about themselves and feel flattered when someone shows an interest in them. This also gives him the cue that you like to know a bit about someone before exchanging numbers or accepting a date.

Ask him what he enjoys doing

Women and men often tend to fall back on the line ‘What do you do’? To some men, this can smack of ‘checking for wallet-padding’. Alternatively Not everyone is doing the work they love, YET and the question may put them on the spot. Men are much more activity orientated whereas women like to talk about emotions. Asking them what they enjoy doing in their life will allow find out more about what makes them tick.

If you give out your number, give the genuine one

Carry a personal or business card to hand out. This way you know that when you give out your phone number you either give out the genuine one or not at all. Imagine what it must feel like plucking up the courage to dial a woman’s number only to find it is the local Chinese take-away.

Make the first move!

95% of men I talked to said they would love to be approached by a woman. If women are looking for equality then it is only fair that they do their share of the asking. It will also give you an opportunity to understand what men have to go through when making a first approach.

And finally:

Be yourself.

It’s no point in assuming a role you think someone wants you to play because you’ll get found out sooner or later. Be proud of who you are and if you aren’t YET sure how you are at your best, you might want to do some work on it. There are plenty of courses and self-help books out there.

Some men flirt with women primarily to get sex. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

Make sure your hair is clean and your body and breath smell good.

You don’t have to douse yourself in after-shave, just take care of personal hygiene at the basic level. As like seeks like, dirty unwashed people will end up with dirty unwashed people! Fine if it suits you but if you are looking for something else……

Great States are catching

People love being around charismatic people because they seem to spread good feelings. Get yourself into the right state for flirting and go for it. The Flirting Weekend is designed to teach you how to feel good about yourself so that others will feel good about you.

When you buy a woman a drink, that is all you are buying

Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when they receive it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest. Don’t try to get a woman drunk – isn’t it preferable to have someone like you genuinely not because their senses are obliterated by alcohol.   And think twice if you think you HAVE to buy a drink to impress.  

Don’t do the rounds of a group of women

No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate – any port in a storm Even if you are, don’t show it.

Concentrate on the conversation, not on getting a date.

Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with. Make an effort to get to know her before diving in for a date

Give GENUINE compliments

There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Keep your hands to yourself and respect their space

There are some people I call space invaders. Even when engaging in a casual chat they just seem to get too close. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have sussed out more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat

If you ask for a phone number, be sure you want to use it

Flirting and meeting people is NOT about trophy hunting it is about making new connections and having fun. If you don't intend to use the number, don't ask. There’s nothing worse than giving out a phone number and not having someone call. If you asked for it, use it .

Keep your self respect.   

Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable.   Don't hover or grovel or be desperate.   Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve.

And finally:

Be yourself. It’s no point in assuming a role you think someone wants you to play because you’ll get found out sooner or later. Be proud of who you are and if you aren’t YET sure how you are at your best, you might want to do some work on it. There are plenty of courses and self-help books out there.

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