How to keep a man happy

If you want to know love, don't look to someone else to provide it for you. If you think the only way you can find love is from someone else,  you will cling to them and fear losing them. If they are healthy, they will feel the burden and withdraw.  If they are co-dependent they will cling to you and reaffirm the myth that the only place you can find love is with each other.

When you realise that you have all the love you need to feel good right there inside of you then you can begin to share that love with others freely in a way that does not feed but enhances their love for themselves.  

When you give away what you think you need, you will be surprised at how it flows back to you in many ways..

Man hater or man lover?

In Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, John Gray used the metaphor of people from two diverse planets to explain the differences between men and women.    When we encounter an alien spaceship, we can choose to shoot it down and fight or we can choose to welcome it in and learn about and be stimulated by our encounter with different life forms.   Weak people shoot, strong people embrace.

Men and women act and think differently. We have the choice to be irritated by and criticize the differences.   What would happen if instead we learn celebrate and enjoy those differences? 

This is not about self-sacrifice or self-denial, it is about being flexible enough to sway in the wind because you know you are rooted and grounded.    If you spend your time criticising your man, wishing he were different, you are using your energies negatively.  This makes you feel bad.  If you want to feel good, start believing everyone has something special and unique and  focus on finding and enjoying the positive side of your man's maleness.  

We were put on this earth to be who we are.  If you are a heterosexual female, part of being who you are is having the ability to truly love a man, not in spite of,  but because of their maleness.

Men are wonderful creatures as are we.  I admire and respect, love, lust after and enjoy the wonders of men.  When you focus on the wonder rather than the differences, and when you celebrate the differences and turn them to wonder, you will begin to relate to your man. 

Life is not a battlefield and love is not a game or a war. Life is not a game of hunt the missing piece.    Life is a beach where we can learn to bask in the sun and enjoy each other.    If as you read, you are thinking, why should I be making all the moves I ask you to think about what it can be like to be secure enough in who you are to make the first move to creating more wonder, or healing the rifts, between your man and yourself. Give what you expect to receive yourself.

Feminist fascism

I was 18 years old in 1970 and all over the so-called civilized word Women’s Libbers were casting off bras, forming elite groups and denouncing men in various ritualistic rejections of ‘male fascism’ and ‘female subservience’.

Some of them blamed men for everything.    They forgot that most  men just behave according to what’s been passed down.   It’s what they’ve learnt over the years seeping through from generation to generation starting with their primitive ancestors.  They were just acting out their genetic programmes.

Meanwhile some feminist fascists set out to get Revenge. They wanted to tear those men limb from limb.    

As their power base grew, they systematically put down and criticised men in order to keep them in their place.   They did exactly to the men what had been done to them.  And what did they get.  A bunch of men who felt emasculated and castrated by women.  Some men caved in and became more 'sensitive', less confident and often hen-pecked.   Some didn't.  Women got their rights, but they cut off a few balls in the process.

Men and women are meant to embrace not batter each other.    Instead of cutting off a dick for every put-down received by a vagina perhaps we should think about turning the other cheeks!  [not a spelling mistake!] See section on Surrender

Strap-on Superiority

The end of the 20th century saw women binning their power shoulder pad way of thinking and adopting a softer, sexier more feminine style..  Clever women realised that that the Maggie 'strap-on' solution was not comfortable and being Peniswoman, required the generation of too much masculine energy.  They were stressed and unbeknown to them their testosterone levels were rising.  They were turning into men and they weren’t happy!  

As they began to look elsewhere for the answers they re-discovered the power of their natural feminine energy.   Anita Roddick who founded Body Shop is celebrated for running her business on female energy and creating a culture that tries hard to be more caring, giving and ecologically aware.

New age reality

As the  21st century dawns we find ordinary people slowly opening out to and embracing elements of what was once known as the ‘new age’ lifestyle.   Suddenly it's no longer quite so weird to have crystals, use alternative medicine, meditate, read self-help books or go on workshops.   People who have actively begun their personal growth are beginning to get in touch with themselves and access more of who they really are. When we do that we can begin to respect,  rejoice in, and interact with the qualities that make men and women such uniquely wonderful and different creatures.

This article is for women everywhere who like themselves enough to want to embrace their  feminine nature and be a true female to their male.  Read on if you are sure enough of the wonder of you to appreciate the wonder of him.

Less criticism more compliments

Men need to feel successful, so-much-so that, to a man, failure is death. For them, if they fail, they no longer feel like men. It's why most men commit suicide more often than women.  Kara Oh – American author

She had either forgotten why she was attracted to him or she had seen him as a lump of clay she could mould to her design and when he didn’t prove to be quite so malleable, she got angry and blamed him.   Stop having designs on men and start admiring them as ready made works of art.   No one would dream of altering a Picasso or a van Gogh so why would you want to alter your man? Did you choose him for who he is or who you wanted him to be?

What's special about your man?

Time for a little introspection.  If you truly feel good about your man, then answering these questions will be easy.  If you find them challenging, read on.

When Nicky first met Mark she came up with 72 great things about him from ‘doesn’t wear a watch’ to ‘amazing forearms’.   AND most important of all, she’s told him what she likes and why! 

If you can’t come up with some answers or you start focusing on his faults… you either need to work on yourself and maybe the way you and he relate or get rid of him!

If you found lots of answers – start telling him as and when it’s appropriate.

Men are human beings first and foremost and like most humans they appreciate re-assurance, compliments, admiration and congratulations from any source but in particular from the woman they are choosing to spend time with.  The more you do this and genuinely mean it, the more they’ll look forward to spending time with you.

If you don’t give it to them, they’ll eventually look for it elsewhere and that elsewhere could be in someone else’s bed!    And now for a short commercial break!

Bring peace to his life

Men are most attracted to happy women who genuinely like themselves and who enjoy being women. When you're happy, he feels successful. When you're a bottomless pit who never seems pleased by anything he does, he finally gets worn out and leaves.  Kara Oh

Are you great to be around?

Are you a black cloud in your man’s life or are you a ray of sunshine?    Do you add to your man’s life by being happy, content with yourself and recognising what is wonderful about him or do you constantly nag him and complain about what is not right because you are expecting him to compensate for what you haven’t got for yourself!   BE CAREFUL if it’s the latter.

It is your duty to yourself to live your life to its fullest potential and enjoy being who you are.   When you learn to like yourself and revel in how wonderful you are, you will give out a glow that is irresistible.  Your man will want to bask in your rays.  He will feel good being around you. 

If you are constantly moaning about your problems, your man will instinctively try to fix it.  John Gray says men try to find solutions.    If he can’t and of course only YOU can fix your life, then he’ll feel bad about himself.  You will become a constant reminder of this failure!

Eventually if you continue to be a miserable bitch, your man will find himself moving further and further away from you and can you blame him!

Sunshiner or a black clouder?

Explore yourself.  As you ask yourself these questions, be honest, answer with what comes up first. Let your thoughts flow.  This is just an exploration of self-discovery for you to gain awareness of yourself.

Of course it is wonderful to be able to share problems and challenges with your man.    The difference is in how you approach it.  Are you seeking to make it better or are you just wallowing in your misery.   Remember that a man will try to solve your problem so if you want to wallow in your misery, don’t expect him to wallow with you. That’s what girlfriends are for, to let you wallow for a while and pick you up and cheer you up! BUT, remember that you need to be able to do this for yourself as well.  

Brighten up

Learn how to focus on what you want, not what you don't want.  Learn to be true to the real you. Learn to take leaps of faith when you listen to your intuition.   Read my book, Flirt Coach, and do the exercises.  You will learn more about yourself and how to be happier, brighter and give out a glow.

Warning:  Miserable and depressed people spread misery and depression to those around them.  We unconsciously avoid them as we do someone with an infection.  Unless you brighten up, you may find your man avoiding your infectious misery and seeking the infectious laughter of another!!

Love him for how he is

Men hate it when a woman tries to change them. What it tells them is that they're not okay the way they are. That makes them feel attacked, which makes them put up defences against those attacks...against you. A defended man cannot love a woman the way she wants. You can help him dismantle those defences and once again open his heart to loving you.  Kara Oh

Child or Companion?

Is your man a child or a companion.  Some women don’t seem to be able to tell the difference.

A woman I knew gets really stressed and angry when her man leaves the toilet seat up. She says it’s one of her pet dislikes.  When she hears him coming out of the bathroom, she shouts in a piercing voice ‘Seat’.  Sometimes, I swear she sounds just like Barbara Woodhouse, the sadistic TV dog trainer!

A woman on one of my flirting courses said that she thought men were like animals.  She believed that you had to train them to clean themselves and invest years of training to make a man the way you want him.  I asked myself, why did she want him in the first place!  

Don’t mess with a work of art

Some women seem to think men are blank canvases. Once you get one you proceed to paint whatever you want.   Men are not canvasses, they are ready made works of art,  as are women, and works of art should be admired and cherished.   Sure if they are faded or have been left lying around for ages in a dark cupboard, you maybe be able, with their cooperation, to restore them and clean them up a little to enhance their natural beauty but you shouldn’t even dare to think about changing  the original picture. 

If you can’t admire the art you have, take it off the wall or get something else that you do like.  Don’t try to paint over the original! 

Jeff's passion is trail bike riding.    When Jessica met him she knew that.   The very last thing on earth she thinks about doing is trying to persuade him not to go in order to spend time with her, unless it is very, very important.  She has her passions and she knows how important it is to be able to indulge them without someone giving her grief.  She knows that, like her, his passion  is  part of who he is and that it makes him feel good.  And when he feels good, well...  

She told me, with a smile on her face that when she sees him kitted up to go out, wearing his ‘armour’, he reminds her of a warrior going off to war! When she thought about him coming back to her, as a victorious warrior it was a big turn on.      Don't you agree that when you focus on the deeper benefits and accept him as he is, it is more likely to lead to another kind of passion than having him reluctantly sitting with you, wishing he were somewhere else!

When you set a man free to be himself he will flourish in your company. 

Warning: If you try to change and alter him, you could end up with a ‘genetically’ modified product or a bear sulking in a cage and we all know how dangerous those can be!!!

Help when Help is needed

Instead of trying to change them to be the way you want, how about helping them to change what they want to change, if they want to change.  

Lew complained several times to Sally that he didn’t enjoy living in chaotic surroundings.  She asked him if he wanted any help.    He did.    She also asked him if it would help if she nagged him about certain things, in a friendly way.  He said yes.  Great.  He gave her permission.  This is completely different from diving in and doing what we want.   This is simple courtesy.  If he expresses a desire to change something ask if he wants help.  If yes, great! Ask HOW you can help.  If no, leave him to his own devices and don’t ask again. 

Warning: If he seems to like being the way he is and isn’t willing to change,  you have 3 choices, ignore it, learn to love it or leave! Changing him is NOT an option.  If you threaten or deprive him he may cave in and stay, but you will create a eunuch out of your man. Is that really what you want?  I don't think so!!!

You can order my book via this link. 'Flirt Coach' by Peta is to be published by Harper Collins/Thorsons week before Feb 14th 2001 in W.H. Smiths, Waterstones and on Amazon.co.uk & English speaking countries and June 2001 USA

Laugh at life, yourself and with him

If you can laugh first at yourself, then you can laugh with others as they laugh at you and everyone has a great time.

Amy’s low self-esteem prompted her to look for double meaning in every comment Charles made to her.     He once made a joke about her abysmal map reading.   She went all sulky, jumped at him and said  ‘are you trying to put me down.  You think I’m useless don’t you… etc ’. Charles told me that he wasn’t criticising just laughing at something in a friendly way.  He also said he felt he had to censor his usually cynical humour because Amy just didn’t seem able to laugh at  herself.   Amy was crap at map reading and if she’d learned to love herself more, she’d have had no problem seeing the funny side.

A secure woman knows her limitations and knows where she excels and where she doesn’t.    Her confidence allows her to laugh and make fun of the things she isn’t quite so good at.   

Celebrate what you do best and laugh at the rest

When a boyfriend once complained about my total failure to map read [this is a complaint common to women it appears and has something to do with the way our brains are wired!].. I laughed and said ‘you know I’m crap at this so I shouldn’t be doing it.   Perhaps we’d better find something for me to do that I’m good at, like giving you a blow job!’   Laughter was followed by a great evening!

When you learn to laugh at yourself first, you can double your fun by laughing at yourself with your lover .  There is loving fun poking and resentful fun poking and there are times when some sensitivity is called for.  Only laugh at someone in loving fun.   Being able to laugh at yourself and feel good while doing so is a sign of a healthy balanced person and it gives other people permission to join in.   Never laugh at yourself because you are afraid others will do so.  Only do so because you find it funny. If you can’t read the warning below.   

Warning: If you or your man have a problem laughing at yourself, you may need to indulge in a little personal awareness and growth.  It'll happen when you're ready.  So chill out and after this next commercial break, we're going to look at how to be come his treasured sauce of intimacy.

You can order my new book via this link. 'Flirt Coach' by Peta is to be published by Harper Collins/Thorsons week before Feb 14th 2001 in W.H. Smiths, Waterstones and on Amazon.co.uk & English speaking countries and June 2001 USA

 Become his treasured source of intimacy

Since they were boys, men have been taught not to feel. "Pick yourself up, don't cry, be a man." Those messages were taken to heart and as men, the only person they feel at all comfortable being intimate with, sharing at least a little of what's going on inside of them, is their wife. He'll begin to share things he may have never told you before, no matter how long you've been married. You really are his only source of intimacy.  Kara Oh - American writer

Even though guys are programmed to be tough and conceal their emotions they are still emotional beings.  Sometimes we women think that we have a monopoly on 'feelings'.   We don't.  We also need to understand that men handle their emotions differently.   One thing I do know is that it's unhealthy to deny emotions.  If we suppress the symptoms they will come out somewhere else.   Our man needs to let out his emotions and we can help him to do it, his way.   You can become a haven for your man. A place where, in safety he can come and be his true self and feel good about it.     He will realise you understand him.  AND he will come back to you because it feels good.   What more could you want!

Integrity guidelines

A man may be less comfortable with feeling vulnerable than we are so we need to create a safe environment in which he can open out.   There are a couple of integrity guidelines [IG's] we need to observe.   Some men don't mind what you share with other people.   Others are quite sensitive or may be telling you such an intimate secret that they wouldn't want anyone to know.    You need to clarify where your man stands and act accordingly.  If he tells you something very intimate, and he asks you to keep it to yourself.  Do so! 

That said, I have to add that I am much happier with a man who is self-assured not to worry what people think.     

The other IG is that you NEVER NEVER use this against him in an argument.       Throwback is a dirty game and if you continue, soon he'll stop wanting to play any games with you.          

We need to let our man know it's OK to talk and we need to show him that he can remain empowered when he does.   

When he begins to talk, pay attention to him with ALL your senses.     Listen to what he is saying, watch where he is putting his hands, match and feel how he is breathing, decide that he is for these moments, the most fascinating creature in the universe. Imagine him as some powerful animal or a fast car or bike.   When you focus on these things you will begin to pay closer attention to him and you will be sending him unconscious signals that stimulate his 'maleness'.   He will sense your reactions to him.      Keep your mouth firmly SHUT!

When he does have a problem he may want to sound off or sound it out.  One thing is sure, he wants to solve it.   Be flattered that he is sharing his inner doubts and challenges with you.     Don’t criticize him or remind him that it’s his own fault.

Make him feel good about himself, remind him of what he’s good at and situations he’s faced before and resolved.   Ask him if you can help him find a solution.    If he does want  help and if it’s appropriate for you to give it, ask him how you can help.  Do not suggest solutions, help him to find his own.   And above all don’t expect him to process it agonizing step by agonizing step.     Save that for your girlfriends!

If you want a gas, talk to your women friends

Don't know about you, but I can spend hours with my women friends discussing life.  the universe and relationships. We love analysing our actions to the zth degree.  We go into enormous detail about what we feel and we want our girlfriends to share and empathise.   And they are brilliant at it. It’s a girlie thing.

Sometimes I’ll be sitting at home alone and decide to ring a girlfriend for no particular reason other than to talk.     It’s what women do.  I’m learning slowly that it’s not what men do.

Men see the phone as a utility.  They make calls to get something done.  Sure they will talk on the phone sometimes, but it’s generally not to process every minute detail of some event or to analyse their feelings.

If he is a caring sort of guy and he enjoys your conversation, there will be times when he will listen to you talking and that’s great.  Just don’t expect him to do it constantly and don’t expect him to do it like a girlie! 

If you want a good gas, call a girlfriend!  Your man will appreciate you all the more for it!  

Give him space and take some too!

Marion and Jim spend all their time together.  Marion thinks it's romantic.  Because she 'loves him so much', Marion always wants to know what Jim has been doing and where he is going and who he sees. She thinks this is normal that when you are a couple you do everything together.   Jim thinks she is suffocating him but he knows she'll be upset if he asks for space so he just caves in.   This is an extremely unhealthy relationship and is doomed to misery or carefully controlled co-dependency.

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Don't look to your man to fill the gaps in your life.   Keep up with all your friends and make sure you go out on your own and do your thing.  Sure it's great to share things together and it's also great to do things apart.  A happy mixture is what you are looking for.

When he wants to be alone, recognise it.  John Gray says that men need to go off into their caves to mull over their problems.   If he does that, let him be.  He’ll return when he’s ready.    

He is uniquely interesting and fascinating

 I lived with a guy once whose hobby was pistol shooting. He invited along to his gun club and being a curious soul, I went along.  instead of dismissing it as ‘boy-stuff’, I had a go, liked it and eventually I learned to shoot. 

Shooting was something Steve really enjoyed and he wanted to share it with me.  I was pleased about that  because I learned a new skill and got to spend time with him as he indulged his passion.   That kind of quality time is a sure-fire passion enhancer!  

If your man invites you to share an activity or a passion with him, or if he wants to talk about what he does,   be open to it.   It’s his way of sharing something of himself with you.  If it’s not appropriate for you to get involved directly, show an interest or find out about it. Ask him what he loves about it.  Notice how passionate he gets when he talks about it.   A woman friend loves to be around her man when he watches football.  She said ‘he gets so excited, the air is thick with testosterone and he’s up for anything after!’    

Your interest is also a sign that you accept him as he is.     When you encourage him to indulge his passion and show an interest in it, he will be much more open to other kinds of passion!

Warning: If you aren’t able to get interested in your man’s passion,  NEVER criticize or make fun of it.    He will withdraw and close off that part of himself to you and you will lose out

Nurture the red-blooded male in him

Well adjusted, red blooded men like sex.     Statistics say that they think about it at least every 7 seconds.   If your man is attractive and sexy, the chances are he’s going to notice other women and be noticed by them.   Instead of trying to stop him,  accept it as a part of what men do!    If he comments on a woman’s good looks, and you agree, say so.  If you don’t, say so too, and say it honestly and without envy. I’ve watched men I’ve been with and noticed them admiring women.  I see this as a positive sign that he is a sexually healthy man and I smile knowing he is with me.

Flirt with him.  Sure, you flirted with him when you first met, but do you still do it?   If you don’t you should.       If you are intimate, you have a lot of material with which to lace your flirting.  Tease him with memories of the passion you share. When you are apart, if it is appropriate, ring him, e-mail him or text him occasionally.  Pop a note into his jacket pocket.   Keep your communication sexy and short!  Don't use a regular pattern like always ringing him at 4.30pm - the surprise goes and it just becomes an everyday occurrence.   And keep your fingers off the repeat button.   You could cause overwhelm.  Unless he’s very insecure, overwhelm makes a man uneasy. He may start to dream of  'boiled rabbits' and 'fatal attraction'  and you’ll find him pulling back.     

Remind him about the sexual intimacies that you share and indulge in lots of touching, displaying or whatever turns you both on.

What comes to mind when you think about being a ' cook' in the kitchen, a 'hostess' in the living room and a 'slut' in the bedroom?  If you are a well-adjusted female and sure of your own success, you can enjoy these roles too. 

If you love to cook, do so and get off on him enjoying your food and if you don't cook just buy in what he likes and serve it to him. Nurturing his appetite is definitely one way to a man’s heart! 

Being a hostess doesn’t mean smiling sweetly and plumping his pillows  while he watches TV,  It means being your vibrant, sociable and interesting self.  It means welcoming him in.   And if it pleases you to please him, then by all means plump his pillows and remind him of what is to come when he switches off the TV! 

Being a 'slut' doesn’t mean making him pay for sex or treating sex as a chore, it means being wanton, desirous and sexy and it means being available for sex because you like it as much as he does!

Above all show him that you desire him.   There is nothing guaranteed to make a man feel good towards you more than a wanton expression of your natural desire for him.   

Submission to surrender

When you begin to follow these guidelines for nurturing your man, you may be surprised at how his attitude to you changes.  

In the 60’s car workers in the UK went on strike.  Their wives set up a counter strike.  They denied their husbands sex so that they would end the strike.  I remember thinking they can’t like sex much or they wouldn’t be denying themselves.

Sex is not a dog biscuit

Many women find a man, have children and then forget what it was about them they loved.   They can find themselves submitting to sex in order to keep the relationship going.    They then stop enjoying it and may begin to offer sex as a reward for good behavior.  The man begins to feel like a dog, and even though he may act faithful, he’s likely to run a mile when let off the leash.   Bad news all round!

When a woman truly enjoys a man, she will see sexuality not as submission but as a surrender to her highest desires and a wonderful way of spending time.    She is not surrendering to his desires, but to her own.    As a result his desire increases and magic happens.

If you want sex, don’t always wait for him to initiate, let him know you want him in no uncertain terms.  Naturally, you should be mindful of his moods as he should be of yours. 

Learn to flirt with him and entice him with your feminine allure.   Some women get jealous when other women flirt wantonly with their men.   Just make sure you do it better and BEFORE they do.  Unless he’s young and out for action, a sexual addict, or a moron, he’ll probably be flattered when another woman flirts with him and if you have done your job right, he’ll be reminded how good it is with you.   

Anything's possible

If you want something give it away.   Women often complain that men don’t spend enough time on foreplay.   One way to encourage him is to do it for him first!   When he realizes how much pleasure he gets from your languid and drawn out attentiveness, he will be more encouraged to do the same for you. If you have a healthy relationship, you’ll probably get off on giving him pleasure as much as he enjoys receiving it!

If your man wants to indulge in a sexual fantasy, be open.   Think of it as a game and have fun acting it out.    By indulging his fantasies, there’s much more chance he’ll want to act out yours.  In fact, he’s probably desperate to find out what you want so that he can arouse and satisfy you.  A true man is not just out for his own satisfaction, but gets turned on by yours.    Surrender to your own desires, be open to his , get clear on what you really want and let him know.  

If he tries to introduce you to pornography or erotica, before you say 'no', stop and think about it.  What can you learn from being open, be curious and be adventurous?  You may find out something about your likes and dislikes or you may find something that turns you both on and that will just enrich your sex life.  Make it clear what you do and don’t like, but not before you try it out or consider about how it can be adapted so that you both enjoy it.  And if you don’t want to indulge in it, be OK about him doing it.   After all you don’t both eat the same foods all the time do you?

Last week in the UK I saw a documentary on vibrators and women who use them.  The TV show Sex and the City, which airs a 10 pm midweek in the UK, centred an entire episode around a vibrator known as ‘the rabbit’.    Owning and using a sex toy is no longer a shameful secret, but something more and more ordinary people are doing.   

Do you own a sex toy? Do you use it on yourself?    Do you play with your sex toys in front of your man?   Perhaps there are sex toys out there you've always wanted to get but haven't dared to yet. Maybe you'll find toys you can both play with, or his and her toys.   I suggest you and your man spend an evening browsing round a sex shop or on the internet choosing toys together and spend another evening trying them out!!

I sometimes receive mail from women complaining that their boyfriend or husband continues to masturbate despite regular sex sessions.  Just because a man likes to masturbate, it's not necessarily a sign that you are not enough.  For some men it’s just a different  form of sexual indulgence [someone once said the best sex he had was with himself!]   They can enjoy it in addition to having great sex [I hope] with you.  

Be grateful that they are not totally dependent on you and accept that it is just part of being a happy, healthy, sexual human.  Be even more grateful that rather than seeking another female when they are not with you they are taking care of themselves!!   This applies to you too!  Self pleasuring is a wonderful way of surrendering to and celebrating your desires.  

When you learn to desire and love sex because it is a wonderfully fulfilling activity,  and become more open to pleasuring your man you’ll be surprised at how much fun you can have.  If you truly let go, of yourself and your man, he’ll be back for more.   

A final word

In the final count you have to decide whether you need to feel empowered by making a man grovel at your feet, or whether you prefer to harness your feminine energy to nurture a truly masculine, red blooded male who rises up in all his splendour when he is with you and shares with you the best of himself.   

When you are whole and complete in yourself and follow these guidelines  you will discover that a man is not someone you need to make you whole or someone you can mould to your own design and definitely not someone you have to submit to..    

When you see a man as someone you can laugh with, love with and enjoy for who he is you can begin to enjoy and wallow in your feminine nature without losing your respect as an intelligent and successful woman.  It is our nature to nurture and we can do that in many ways.  Nurturing is the gift we have to give.  

Someone once said to me 'When you give a gift, you should give it without expectation or reward'.    When you give like this, letting go of your needs and your need to control, giving purely from the heart, you will feel great and you will be rewarded in more ways than you could hope.   

 Are you ready to give your gift? 

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